Why Tech Can’t Solve Loneliness

Why Tech Can’t Solve Loneliness

It’s a seemingly commendable effort. Last year, the Surgeon General called loneliness an “epidemic.”

It is causing a breakdown of society and shorter lifespans.

Many companies are using tech to tackle loneliness. They hope to bring people together in person. Bumble founder Whitney Wolfe Herd spoke at a tech conference.

She said,

Loneliness is killing us.

To fix this, Bumble bought the friendship app Geneva. It called it “the online place to find your offline people.”

WeWork founder Adam Neumann said loneliness was behind his new app, Flow.

He noted, “We’re more digitally connected than ever, but we’ve never been this disconnected in real life.”

Even industries not known for social connection are trying to engage users.

For instance, when you do a Slotsgem login, not only do they provide entertainment but also create interactive spaces where users can connect over shared interests.

Airbnb and Nextdoor are building solutions to fight loneliness. They aim to create a community and make a profit.

Is Tech the Problem?

There’s some irony here. One could argue that tech companies, in particular, caused the loneliness epidemic.

There’s no shortage of potential technological causes, from smartphones to social media.

Yet, the scientific evidence for tech’s contribution to loneliness is primarily mixed.

Depending on the study, you can find both negative and positive outcomes.

How technology impacts someone varies greatly—it depends on the type of tech, how it’s used, and who’s using it.

The internet helps people connect. But, apps like Instagram can hurt mental health.

They make people, especially young women, compare themselves to others.

The surgeon general highlights that some tech use negatively affects relationships and health. Yet, loneliness is also driven by factors like income, jobs, health, and family dynamics.

Addressing it requires rethinking how communities support healthy relationships.

It’s No Surprise That Tech Companies Keep Reinventing “The Bus”

Solving loneliness isn’t as simple as getting people together. Dr. Jeremy Nobel outlines three types of loneliness. Each needs a unique approach.

1. Psychological loneliness: Lacking someone to confide in.
2. Societal loneliness: Feeling excluded due to factors such as race or disability.
3. Spiritual loneliness: Questioning your purpose or significance.

Each type needs a different approach. Most tech companies focus on loneliness.

Nobel says it’s naive to think sharing digital contact info solves the problem.

For example, joining a group won’t fix societal loneliness. We must address exclusion and connect with others in similar situations.

Real solutions often involve complex societal changes, not new apps. In-person is good (though not strictly necessary).

The experts we spoke with said that, in general, it’s a good idea to get people together in person. But, it’s not a cure-all.

“There are countless ways we avoid interacting face-to-face,” he explained.

“It makes life more efficient,” said Paul Eastwick, a psychology professor at UC, Davis.

He studies relationships. “Oh, I don’t have to commute to work today? Cool. I can order the popcorn online at the movie theater, and then it’s sitting there?” 

Thus, people these days often need excuses to get together, he said.

That excuse can be anything and arbitrary. It could be cultural events, common interests, or making art. 

Once people gather, they naturally discover things they have in common.

He said that people stop being consumers when they meet face-to-face. “Instead, they engage with another person,” he said. “It’s no longer like browsing Amazon.” You’re now interacting with a person. And you’re feeling it.”

In other words, people behave more like people in person. 

“Tech’s flaw is in thinking people are values and numbers. If you crunch them right, you can find a perfect match.” No,” Eastwick said. “People will invent a reason to meet. If they like someone, they’ll find shared traits to bond over.”

Such interactions can be tiring and require a lot of work. They can feel impossible for introverts or neurodivergent individuals. But ultimately, they make people feel better. The trick is to get them together. If tech companies can help, it may help combat loneliness.

There are countless stories of people finding community on the web. Nobel shared a story. A woman found community in the viewers of a Fat Bear live cam. They supported her after a cancer diagnosis. 

Of course, tech is not the only solution. 

Most of the tech from these companies is not much different from tech that’s been around for decades.

They’re building a shinier message board, and yet we’re still as lonely as ever.

Eastwick expressed his approval of tech companies acknowledging loneliness as a serious issue.

He appreciated that they value in-person interaction as a key part of the solution. But, he admitted, “Of course, I remain cautious.””

Tech Solutions Could Make Things Even Worse

The worst case is if these tech solutions disconnect people. 

Yet, these companies often prioritize their own goals. They may not align with their users’ needs. Their main incentive?

Making money, typically from subscriptions, ads, and events. Like dating apps — and some are dating apps — they only make money as long as you’re on their platforms.

You, the lonely human seeking a friend or a mate, don’t need to keep coming back once you’ve found your people.

Eastwick asked, “Can something be sustainable if it’s for one-time use?” He also questioned if a business could succeed with a short-term model.

He wondered if it was sustainable in the long run.

Final Thoughts

In conclusion, technology has tools to help with loneliness.

But it is not a complete solution. Loneliness is a complex issue. It varies by person and context. It needs more than digital solutions. Tech can help people connect.

But, we need deeper changes. We must fix social issues and encourage in-person interactions.

Companies should focus on helping people long-term, not making money. Rebuilding community and relationships is key to true connection. It requires more than a digital fix.